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Something Every New Parent Deserves

By Jennifer Malicoat

A photo of a pregnant Jennifer, her husband Derek, and her son standing alongside a lake.
Photo provided by Jennifer Malicoat

After struggling with infertility for a few years, my husband and I were elated to find out we were pregnant in June of 2016. Our excitement was dimmed a bit as we discussed our time off after the baby arrived and the reality of our maternity and paternity leave options sunk in.

My husband, Derek, and I were both employed by nonprofit organizations, worked hard to put away the savings that we had, and stocked up as much sick and vacation time as possible in hopes that a child would be in our near future. Despite the planning, I was crushed when I learned that I would be unable to take the 12 weeks off after our son arrived that I so desperately wished for and had been planning on taking.

I’ll never forget the day, about halfway through my pregnancy, when my boss entered our office, beaming with news to share with me. She couldn’t wait to tell me about a new agency policy that would go into effect just one month before my son was due: 6 weeks paid maternity and paternity leave. There were tears from both of us as I realized that these 6 weeks, combined with my saved sick and vacation time, would allow for a more adequate time period to heal and bond with my baby!

Being in the early childhood field, I know the importance of those early relationships and the effect those bonds and experiences with caregivers have on brain development. I was thrilled that I would be given the opportunity and time to build that strong foundation right from the beginning, but unfortunately, my experience is not the norm for most new parents.

I returned to my job in a good place mentally and physically, and that allowed me to feel confident as a mother, wife, and employee. And that is something every parent deserves.

Jennifer Malicoat, mother and advocate, Cincinnati, Ohio

At the time, I felt lucky that my husband was able to take two weeks of paid vacation after the birth. With fathers, it is so much more difficult for them to get the time off they deserve, a shortfall of paid parental leave policies that fail to provide adequate and equal time to new dads. When my labor ended in an unplanned C-section, we needed every bit of that time for him to help me recover from surgery as well as care for and bond with our new son, Cooper.

But our experience, combined with currently being pregnant with our second child, has me advocating for better paternal leave for new mothers AND new fathers, like Derek.

A selfie of Jennifer, her husband, and her son.
Photo provided by Jennifer Malicoat

It is still hard for me to believe that next month, I will be having another C-section to welcome our second child into our family, and I only have two weeks of my husband’s help to recuperate before I am on my own for the majority of the day caring for a toddler and newborn. My husband will be back to work before I’m even cleared to drive a car, and we all deserve more than that.

I feel extremely blessed to be in a workplace that supports families with paid leave. The time I was able to spend with Cooper, tending to his needs, watching him grow, and allowing my own body to heal, was incredible.

I returned to my job in a good place mentally and physically, and that allowed me to feel confident as a mother, wife, and employee. And that is something every parent deserves.

This blog post originally appeared on the Ohio Women’s Public Policy Network’s website

All Parents Deserve Access to Paid Family Leave

Photo provided by David Milender

By David Milender

MASON, OHIO – While I was glad to get five days of paid leave for the birth of my son, it was still a frustratingly short amount of time. When my wife, Kaitlin, gave birth to our son, George, one Monday in January 2016, I confirmed with my boss that I would be starting my paid parental leave period that day. The company I worked at the time for allowed five paid days off for new parents.

Welcoming George into the world was a whirlwind experience, and too soon, our family of three were back home from the hospital. The next few days were a blur as we adjusted to life with an infant. My wife had six weeks of reduced pay leave from work through short term disability, but we felt neither of us was allowed nearly enough paid time off with our son.

Back in the office the following Monday, I obsessively checked my phone to make sure George and Kaitlin were doing well. Sitting through monotonous conference calls and in traffic commuting to work felt like a dreadful waste compared to the time I could have been spending with my wife and son. Five days off for the biggest event of our lives was woefully inadequate. 

Photo provided by David Milender

Kaitlin’s leave likewise flew by. Finding a good daycare for our weeks-old son was a harrowing experience, as we had to balance what we could afford with what was safe. While he is a healthy child and the daycare staff had the best intentions, I will never forget the guilt and regret I felt from having to leave my fragile weeks-old son in the care of strangers. 

That spring, my employer updated its employee handbook. I studiously read the new document, and a section on family leave stood out. That afternoon I informed my supervisor that I would like to apply for additional time off under the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) as a new parent.

The application process was a learning experience for everyone. My supervisors initially stated that as I was not a new mother, I may not qualify for FMLA leave. After some back and forth over email and consulting the new HR manual and federal regs, they allowed me to apply through our corporate office and humbly apologized, explaining that in all their time overseeing 100+ employees, they had never had a father try to take leave under the FMLA. I was the first one in the office to do so.

My FMLA request was approved, and we disenrolled George from daycare. On my last day in the office before taking leave, another co-worker approached me, explaining that his fiancé was due to give birth soon. Then he asked, “So how do you get them to give you more time off? I thought dads only get a week.” 

The FMLA leave was unpaid, and we had to practice the art of frugality. Fortunately, Kaitlin had a full-time job, and I was able to keep George and I enrolled on my company’s insurance through my leave. Cutting out daycare expenses saved us a small fortune, but I still spent plenty of time cutting coupons and comparing ads while George got in his naps.

Still, we nonetheless depleted my savings.

Regardless of the cost, the twelve weeks I spent with George were amazing. I will never regret taking that time to watch him grow and explore the world around him. Nothing could replace being there when he rolled over for the first time or taking him for walks around the neighborhood in those first warm days of late spring. 

This blog post originally appeared on the Ohio Women’s Public Policy Network’s website

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